The other day, I had the colossal nerve to think there are a couple of lines in my current novel that ar
en't too shabby. This morning, I cracked open
Water For Elephants. Incredible, captivating writing, spectacular voice, charming wit, depth & heart.
Wow. After an hour I put it down – I had to get ready for work. Part of me couldn't put it down; part of me couldn't read any more. It's a beautifully crafted, engrossing reminder that my writing sucks.
I nearly broke the mouse punching the close button on my always-open novel document. Then I took a deep breath and heard a little voice saying that NO ONE expects my first novel to be as good as Sara Gruen's third (?) and a NYT bestseller at that.
No one but Camille.
I like---no, love a bar set so high my nose bleeds just squinting to see it. I love an impossible challenge when it comes to writing well. Sara sets the bar high, and I like that. But somewhere in all this straining, bleeding and reaching, I guess I need to look at where I am now and give myself permission to be HERE.
For now.
Habakkuk 2:3 says:
For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day. (Amplified)
I will be patient and wait for the day my writing is at its best, but I will wait in earnest---pursuing excellence, writing, studying, honing, reading, listening, receiving instruction and correction and advice, working harder every day to reach that bar.
And I will keep reminding myself that it's okay to be here (while pinching my nostrils and pressing an ice pack to my forehead).
Just wanted to share that. Best of God's blessings to you...wherever you "are."
Camille
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. . . .
8 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME:
I wrote a NOVEL (more about it at the bottom of the page . . . keep scrolling).
I've been writing stuff - an actual literary term - all my life, but now, I'm serious about being published. Or pubbed, if you like. (It's so cute how writer people have all these enigmatic little code-names for things)
I love action movies and Jane Austen. (she’s dead, I know. I found that out when I tried to get her to endorse my novel)
They let me play Bass guitar and sing in a worship band.
I can produce 4 dozen homemade cinnamon rolls in less than 2 hours for a crowd of drooling young adults.
I have a Harley A 2002 Sportster 883. Chrome, black leather. Ram Horn handles. No sissy pink stuff.
I hate shopping (Yes, I'm aware that I'm a girl)
My ringtone is the theme from "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly"(whoo-00-oo-00-oo, waa waa waa)
I speak 3 languages:
1. Sarcasm, fluent
2. Teenage ghetto-girl slang: actually, I'm just learning. It's a difficult language to grasp as it changes without warning and involves complicated neck, hip and finger snapping motions that are often dangerous for middle-aged white people.
3. My native tongue: English with an Oregon dialect, which is much more pronounced with caffeine. Just sit in any Starbucks in Portland an listen fer a while, or head tord the mountn, you'll know whudumean.
I WAS THERE:
I was there during the brief Sonny & Cher period of Modern American history. (Anybody remember? Babe---I got you Babe---) AND the Belushi-Ackroyd years of SNL.
PROFESSIONS THAT I'VE HELD PROFESSIONALLY:
I have experience (meaning actually receiving cash) in numerous professions including a Preschool Teacher, Administrator and a Church Administrative Assistant. In these, I have conducted myself in a flawlessly professional manner. Truly.
I also have over 10 years experience in the honorary profession (meaning no cash, besides the sticky coins that turn up while cleaning the crevices between the seats in the car) of stay-at-home mom.
In addition to these, I also know how to do an unbelievably large number of random, useless things. Like greasing the hubs and changing the oil in a '56 International Harvester Scout.
MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE:
Stinkin over-achievers.
MY ROOTS:
I've lived in Oregon all my life, grew up in several towns/cities including Eugene, Springfield, Reedsport, and Smith River. Which is not really a town, but a river, about 70 miles long, a tributary of the Umpqua River in southwest Oregon.
Although it's not a town, it is a community with a strong sense of pioneer history. It's cool to say you've lived there, especially if you lived there during the days when you had to take a boat to school. No joke! The old farmhouse my grandfather and my mother grew up in still stands, nestled into a narrow, pasture carpeted valley, complete with a swimmin' hole and its own 'crick'. It's going in my next novel.
As a child, I lived for a year in Gardiner, Oregon, across the road from a Weyerhauser paper mill and spent that entire year thinking the noxious odor I smelled every day was coming from my brother's bedroom. (I'm still not entirely convinced it wasn't.)
One last root worthy of mention: there's a longstanding rumor that my ancestors had some connection with the Mafia back in Sicily. I used to fantasize during school about a big black limo with tinted windows pulling up and whisking me away.
Ahhh. THAT'S why I'm having so much trouble conjugating my dangling participles now.
Love Worth Fire - a Contemporary Women's Fiction with Romance
There was a natural, familiar bond that had developed over time. A bond that, until now, Ian had thought he shared with a wise, stout, tender-hearted little spinster nearing middle-age . . .
His his mind worked frantically to reconcile the Emily he knew from the letters with this one, and to accept the fact that this woman, this very lovely young woman, had been his pen pal for the past two years . . .
All widower Ian MacLean wants is peace. And a farm in the lowlands of Scotland should be the perfect place to find it. But he's too young for the life of a recluse, and he’s constantly plagued by an obstinate, mischievous grannie, bitter regrets, mislaid faith and worst of all—an ache for something he’ll never have.
Emily Chapman is a devoted caregiver to her frail great-aunt and lives a quiet life in a remote community in central Oregon’s high desert. Emily has also suffered loss and longs for a sense of belonging, of family.
When Ian travels to the States and meets his kind ‘old’ pen pal, he is surprised to find a lovely, tenderhearted young woman who shakes up what little peace he has and stirs up something in his heart he never thought possible.
But just when Ian and Emily’s dream of a life together is within reach, Emily discovers a devastating secret that crushes their hope for a future. Ian must relive the painful nightmare that scarred him once already. Can his heart withstand a second blow?
While Ian examines the strength of his heart and his renewed faith, Emily must decide if she has the courage to face her worst fears and truly leave those she loves in God’s hands.
****************************
CHAPTER ONE
Ian MacLean nearly escaped.
He made it to the edge of the lamp-lit street with only four hard strides bridging the gap between him and his freedom: Maggie’s farm truck. Even in the pallid streetlight, his grannie’s old rattletrap never looked so good.
“That’s far enough!”
A low growl rumbled up from his throat at the sound of Claire's voice, but instead of stopping, he sprinted across the road, digging into the pocket of his jeans for the key. He reached the truck and behind him, a car spattered up rain from the pavement, blaring the horn as it passed. At Claire, no doubt. Some things never changed. He had to be the only man in Scotland whose older sister still trailed him like a bullet if she thought he wasn’t sharing. Didn’t matter what it was.
With a sigh he turned, leaned against the fender and lowered his gaze to meet hers. Her eyes, usually dark like his, flickered with bright little sparks.
“You’re not leaving until I know what happened to my husband—that’s a dead cert!”
The top of her head didn’t even reach his chin, but that made no difference to her. Never had. He folded his arms loosely, hoping to hide his growing tension.
“What . . . you’re not happy he’s back then?”
“Are you daft? Of course I’m happy!” She frowned, but her voice softened. “This is where Davy belongs.”
“Good.” Ian shoved off and reached for the door. “That’s all that matters.”
“Nnnno . . .” She shot in before he could reach it and pressed her back against the handle. “I want to know how you got him to change his mind, Ian.” Claire gave her arms a brisk rub.
To the west, the lights of Glasgow cast a golden glow against the night sky, but the warmth of the sun had long since faded. Ian’s damp clothes took in the chill, pulling heat away from his skin.
“So what did you say to him?” Claire shivered, still rubbing her arms.
He shrugged. “I don’t remember.”
“Ah! How can you say that? Do you know how hard I’ve been trying to get him to come home?”
As she stood there with fists planted on her hips, Ian’s eyes fell to the spot in the middle of her belly, right about where the door handle would be. Her arms poked out on either side like the handles on one of Maggie’s blessed teapots, almost begging him to toss her out of his way.
“Nothing I’ve said has made a bit of difference, Ian. Whatever you did . . . you just saved my family.” Her eyes filled with tears, but her voice fell to a low tone. “And you don’t remember how you might have done that?”
His gaze snapped across the street to her second-storey flat, to the home she shared with four remarkable kids and one lucky, blasted fool. He had to fight back the ache that rose in his chest.
“We talked about . . . loads of things, Claire.”
“Aye. I’m listening.”
Ian sucked in a deep, cool breath. What he had said to his brother-in-law had not come easy. The words stung then, and they would sting now; swift and sharp, like a cold blade to an old wound. He searched her face, hoping for a weak spot. She didn’t flinch.
en't too shabby. This morning, I cracked open Water For Elephants. Incredible, captivating writing, spectacular voice, charming wit, depth & heart. 
I like---no, love a bar set so high my nose bleeds just squinting to see it. I love an impossible challenge when it comes to writing well. Sara sets the bar high, and I like that. But somewhere in all this straining, bleeding and reaching, I guess I need to look at where I am now and give myself permission to be HERE.
11 comments:
Camille, I can hardly wait to read that book now!
I am not getting e-mail updates about your blog. Hmmm. Something is burping. I will check my spam.
Loved this post. It's where I "am" too!!
Love ya!
Write on!
Hi Camille, Oh my goodness, we suffer from the same perfection imperfection. I loved Water For Elephants--my favorite novel in the past eighteen months or so. I'm about ready to read it again for study purposes. Only by reading "above" our own writing level are we able to aspire to greatness. I'm sure you're "current" level is not all that shabby. Breathe deep and keep on writing.
The funny thing about writers is we all seem to have variations of the same fears. I just read Possession by A. S. Byatt--yes, I know I'm nearly two decades late--and was stunned. Not by the prose, but by the imagination required to write such an intricate story.
Deal is, who knows what any other author has trouble doing. Some are great writers of dialog, others breeze through narrative and others create characters that are wonderful and engaging at the drop of a hat.
I suppose that's why continuing to read great authors and learn the craft is the only way to do it.
Camille--what a wonderful reminder for us to be content and patient. I know my own desires for world domination can make me feel a little underwhelmed with current progress. (And just think. Jesus was content to work with 12 people!)
Is your email address on here somewhere and I'm not seeing it?
Hi Anonymous - You're not blind; it's not here. Neither is yours. :)
Camille,
Let me just say that my husband and I own a Honda Shadow Aero 750. We are avid bikers. Our church puts on a yearly biker rally/fundraiser.
Anyway, I also love Janes Austin as well. However, my husband is the action guy. I only appreciate action if it has some kind logical plot attached to it.
I love your posts! If only we could just write the way we post. We sure would be pumping out books a lot faster. Such is life.
Just wanted to say hi and encourage with the words of a welknown philospher:
Keep Moving Forward - Walt Disney
Thanks Juliana - "Keep moving forward." Can't hear that too much.
We've got a couple bikers in our church, I guess it's time to organize a rally!
Check out Karla Akins http://jesuslovesbikerchickstoo.blogspot.com/
she's writing a book about a Pastor's wife who wears Harley boots!!
Thanks for the plug, Camille!
I sure wish I was getting your new posts in my mail box.
This post was encouraging to me. (Isn't that something...it seems strange that I find encouragement from someone else's discouragement!) :) Thanks for sharing!
I can understand the frustration, but here is the way I look at it:
You are writing the novel that best fits you at this moment. Three years from now, you won't be able to write the same story and characters, because you will be a different writer. But you will also look back fondly and know that your piece of art was perfect for that time in your life.
All we can do is what God has placed on our hearts. He placed your story in your heart, not Sara Gruen's heart or any other writer's heart. Only you can write that story, and what God chooses to do with it is up to Him.
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